|
|
HOME | CONTENTS | SEARCH | POST
from: YO MAMMA! (On Mothers Day)
152.163.197.73
5/14/00
2:13:53 AM
Yo mama's so big her belly button's got an echo. Yo mama's so big she cant wear an X jacket cause choppers keep landing on her back Yo mama's so big she uses I-95 for a Slip 'n Slide Yo mama's so big that they had to change "One size fit's all" to "One size fits most" Yo mama's so big when she goes to the movie theatre she sits next to everybody. Yo mama's so big when she went to the airport and said she wanted to fly they stamped Goodyear on her and sent her out to the runway Yo mama's so big, it takes her 2 hours just to haul ass. Yo mama's so fat a picture of her would fall off the wall! Yo mama's so fat and old that when God said "Let there be Light", he told her to move her fat butt out of the way. Yo mama's so fat at the zoo, the elephants started throwing her peanuts. Yo mama's so fat every time she wears high heels, she strikes oil. Yo mama's so fat her blood type is ragu Yo mama's so fat her college graduation picture was an airial. Yo mama's so fat her yearbook picture is an arial Yo mama's so fat if she got her shoes shined, she'd have to take his word for it! Yo mama's so fat if she wears fishnet stockings, they'd better be 50 pound test! Yo mama's so fat if she weighed five more pounds, she could get group insurance! Yo mama's so fat n black she jumped in the ocean and they ungee jumped and went straight to hell Yo mama's so fat she can't even tie her own shoes. Yo mama's so fat she can't reach her back pocket. Yo mama's so fat she can't wear Dazzey Dukes. She has to wear Boss Hoggs Yo mama's so fat she dries her pants in the driveway Yo mama's so fat she eats biscuits like tic tacs Yo mama's so fat she eats wheat thicks. Yo mama's so fat she fell in love and broke it. Yo mama's so fat she gets clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo, and oh-my-god-it's-coming-towards-us! Yo mama's so fat she got hit by a truck and asked "Who threw that rock?" Yo mama's so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway Yo mama's so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets Yo mama's so fat she has more nooks and crannies than Thomas' English Muffin. Yo mama's so fat she has to buy two airline tickets. Yo mama's so fat she influences the tides. Yo mama's so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck. Yo mama's so fat she measures 36 24 36, and the other arm is just as big Yo mama's so fat she plays hopscotch like this: LA, Detroit, Chicago, NY .. Yo mama's so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller Yo mama's so fat she sat on a quarter and squished a booger out of George Washington's nose Yo mama's so fat she sat on the corner and the police came & said "break it up!" Yo mama's so fat she shows up on radar. Yo mama's so fat she stood in front of the Hollywood sign and it just said H D Yo mama's so fat she tried to get an all-over tan, and the sun burned out Yo mama's so fat she uses a hula hoop to hold up her socks Yo mama's so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon. Yo mama's so fat she uses a pillow case as a sock. Yo mama's so fat she was baptized at Marine World. Yo mama's so fat she wears a VCR for a beeper. Yo mama's so fat she went to a Chinese Restaurant and ordered a 40oz. of gravy Yo mama's so fat she's on both sides of the family Yo mama's so fat that she cant tie her own shoes. Yo mama's so fat that when I tried to drive around her, I ran out of gas. Yo mama's so fat the animals at the zoo feed her. Yo mama's so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn" Yo mama's so fat they had to baptize her at Sea World Yo mama's so fat they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping Yo mama's so fat uses blanket as a washcloth Yo mama's so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up Yo mama's so fat when i took her to the beach, little keds surron "Free Willy, Free WIlly" Yo mama's so fat when she backs up she beeps Yo mama's so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too Yo mama's so fat when she dances at a concert the whole band skips. Yo mama's so fat when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again. Yo mama's so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued. Yo mama's so fat when she sits around the house she REALLY sits AROUND the house Yo mama's so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo. Yo mama's so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please" Yo mama's so fat when she wears a red dress people yell "Hey Kool Aid .." Yo mama's so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!" Yo mama's so fat when she went to the beach Greenpeace tried to drag her ass back in the water. Yo mama's so fat when the bitch goes to an all You can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps. Yo mama's so fat when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground. Yo mama's so fat you smell like bacon at 90 degrees Yo mama's so fat, when she travels, she's gotta make two trips. Yo mama was so fat that when she was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks. Yo mama's like 7up - never had it never will (You're adopted) Yo mama's like a birthday cake, everybody gets a piece. Yo mama's like a bowling ball, she always winds up in the gutter. Yo mama's like a bowling ball, You can fit three fingers in. Yo mama's like a bus; guys climb on and off her all day long. Yo mama's like a Christmas tree; everybody hangs balls on her. Yo mama's like a door knob, everybody gets a turn. Yo mama's like a gas station - You gotta pay before You pump Yo mama's like a goalie; she changes her pads after three periods. Yo mama's like a light switch, even a little kid can turn her on. Yo mama's like a postage stamp, You lick her, stick her, then send her away. Yo mama's like a race car driver...she burns a lot of rubbers. Yo mama's like a railroad track; she gets laid all over the country. Yo mama's like a screen door, after a couple of bangs she loosens up Yo mama's like a shotgun, one cock and she blows Yo mama's like a Toyota, "OOooh what a feeling!" Yo mama's like a TV, even a 2 year old could turn her on Yo mama's like a vaccuum cleaner.....a real good suck. Yo mama's like an ice cream cone... everYone gets a lick. Yo mama's like cake mix, 15 servings per package! Yo mama's like Crazy Eddie; she's practically giving it all away. Yo mama's like Denny's...open 24 hours. Yo mama's like Marky Mark - Good Vibrations Yo mama's like McDonalds... Billions and Billions served. Yo mama's like mustard, she spreads easy. Yo mama's like the pillsbury dough boy - everybody pokes her Yo mama's so dumb she has 1 toe & bought a pair of flip flopsYo mama's so dumb she put out the cigarette butt that was heating your house.Yo mama's so dumb she sat on TV & watched the couch Yo mama's so dumb she thought St Ides was a Catholic church.Yo mama's so dumb she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept. Yo mama's so dumb she took a spoon to the Super Bowl Yo mama's so dumb she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.Y o mama's so dumb that under "Education" on her job apllication, she put "Hooked on Phonics."Yo mama's so dumb, she cooked her own complimentary breakfast. Yo mama's so dumb, she got hit by a cup and told the police that she got mugged. Yo mama's so dumb, she thinks Johnny Cash is a pay toilet! Yo mama's so dumb, she thinks socialism means partying!Yo mama's so dumb, she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept. Yo mama's so dumb, when asked on an application, "Sex?", she marked, "M, F and sometimes Wednesday too." Yo mama's so dumb, when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K." Yo mama's so stupid at bottom of application where it says Sign Here - she put Sagitarius. Yo mama's so stupid he got a part time job painting skittles Yo mama's so stupid instead of taking 4 bus she took the 2 bus twice Yo mama's so stupid it takes her 2 hours to watch 60 Mins Yo mama's so stupid on her job application where it says emergency contact she put 911 Yo mama's so stupid she asked for a price check at the 99 cent store Yo mama's so stupid she asked me what kinda jeans I wore, I said Guess and she said "Ah Levis?" Yo mama's so stupid she jumped out the window and went up Yo mama's so stupid she said "what's that letter after x" and i said Y she said "cause I wana know" Yo mama's so stupid she stands up on an empty bus.Yo mama's so stupid she studied for blood test & failed. Yo mama's so stupid she thought BOYZ2MEN was a daycare center. Yo mama's so stupid she thought hamburger helper came with another person Yo mama's so stupid she thought meow mix was a record for catsYo mama's so stupid she thought she needed a token to get on soul train Yo mama's so stupid she thought the board of education was a piece of wood. Yo mama's so stupid she told everyone that she was "illegitiment" because she couldn't read Yo mama's so stupid that she go hit by a parked car. Yo mama's so stupid that she sold the car for gas money. Yo mama's so stupid that she went to a Clippers game to get a hair cut. Yo mama's so stupid that she went to a Whalers game to see Shamu. Yo mama's so stupid when she saw "under 17 not admitted" sign, she went home and got 16 friends Yo mama's so stupid when Yo dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon. Yo mama's so stupid, I saw her in the frozen food section with a fishing rod. Yo mama's so stupid, I taught her how to do the running man and I haven't seen her since. Yo mama's so stupid, she asked You "What is the number for 911". Yo mama's so stupid, she bought a videocamera to record cable tv shows at home. Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks Taco Bell is where You pay Yo telephone bill. Yo mama's so stupid, that she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W's. Yo mama's so stupid, when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead. Yo mama's so old and stupid she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10 and said, "Li'l Mary will never amount to anything". Yo mama's so old I told her to act her age and the bitch dropped dead. Yo mama's so old Jurassic Park brought back memories. Yo mama's so old she has a picture of Jesus in her yearbook. Yo mama's so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook. Yo mama's so old she knew the Beetles when they were the New Kids on the Block Yo mama's so old she owes Jesus a nickel. Yo mama's so old she owes Moses a quarter. Yo mama's so old she's got Jesus' beeper number. Yo mama's so old that when she was in school there was no history class. Yo mama's so old when god said "let there be light" she was there to flick the switch Yo mama's so old when Moses split the red sea, she was on the other side fishing Yo mama's so old when she reads the bible she reminisces Yo mama's so old, her birthday's expired. Yo mama's so old, she co-wrote one of the ten commandments. Yo mama's so old, she farts out dust. Yo mama's so old, she knew Burger King while he was still a prince. Yo mama's so old, she used to babysit Jesus. Yo mama's so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving." Yo mama's so poor she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway. Yo mama's so poor your tv got 2 channels: on and off Yo mama's so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention. Yo mama's so poor, she goes to Kentucky Fried Chicken to lick other people's fingers. Yo mama's so poor, she married young just to get the rice! Yo mama's so poor, the only time she smelled hot food was when a rich man farted! Yo mama's so poor, when Yo family watches TV, they go to Sears. Yo mama's so poor, Yo family ate cereal with a fork to save milk. Yo daddy so poor that if he didn't wake up with a hard-on, he had nothing to play with all day.
Yo mama's so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "sorry, no professionals." Yo mama's so ugly had to get her baby drunk just so she could breastfeed. Yo mama's so ugly her face is closed on weekends! Yo mama's so ugly her mama had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her. Yo mama's so ugly her picture is on the inside of a Roach Motel Yo mama's so ugly I took her to haunted house and she came out with a job application Yo mama's so ugly I took her to the zoo, guy at the door said "thanks for bringing her back Yo mama's so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck Yo mama's so ugly just after she was born, her mama'said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it." Yo mama's so ugly people go as her for Halloween. Yo mama's so ugly she can look up a camel's butt and scare the hump off of it Yo mama's so ugly she could be the poster child for abortion/birth control! Yo mama's so ugly she could scare the chrome off a bumper! Yo mama's so ugly she could scare the moss off a rock! Yo mama's so ugly she has to trick or treat over the phone Yo mama's so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning. Yo mama's so ugly she made an onion cry. Yo mama's so ugly she scares the roaches away. Yo mama's so ugly she threw a boomerang and it wouldn't even come back Yo mama's so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects. Yo mama's so ugly that Yo father takes her to work just so he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye. Yo mama's so ugly the doctor is still smacking her ass Yo mama's so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday. Yo mama's so ugly the last time she heard a whistle was when she got hit by a train Yo mama's so ugly the psychiatrist makes her lie facedown. Yo mama's so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars. Yo mama's so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower Yo mama's so ugly they know what time she was born, because her face stopped the clock! Yo mama's so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints. Yo mama's so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies. Yo mama's so ugly they put her face on box of Ex-Lax and sold it empty Yo mama's so ugly when she passes by a bathoom the toilet flushes. Yo mama's so ugly when she sits in the sand the cat tries to bury her. Yo mama's so ugly when she walks in the kitchen, the rats jump on the table and start screaming. Yo mama's so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras Yo mama's so ugly when she was born she was put in an incubator with tinted windows Yo mama's so ugly when she was born the doctor smacked everYone. Yo mama's so ugly when she was born, her mama'saw the afterbirth and said "Twins!" Yo mama's so ugly when she was born, the doctor slapped HER mama! Yo mama's so ugly Yo dad first met her at the pound Yo mama's so ugly You could stick her face in dough and make monster cookies Yo mama was such an ugly baby that her parents had to feed her with slingshots. When Yo mama was born they had to take her out of the trash can cause doctor said "Throw this shit away!"
YO MAMA IS SO DIRTY Yo momma so dirty she has to creep up on bathwater.
YO MAMA'S NOSE Yo momma nose so big you can go bowling with her boogers! Yo momma nose so big she makes Pinochio look like a cat!
YO MAMA IS SO GREASY Yo momma so greasy she used bacon as a band-aid! Yo momma so greasy she sweats Crisco! Yo momma so greasy Texaco buys Oil from her
YO MAMA'S TEETH Yo momma teeth are so yellow traffic slows down when she smiles! Yo momma teeth are so yellow she spits butter! Yo momma teeth are so yellow I can't believe its not butter
YO MAMA IS SO LAZY Yo momma so lazy she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs.
YO MAMA IS SO SKINNY Yo momma so skinny she hula hoops with a cheerio Yo momma so skinny she has to wear a belt with spandex. Yo momma so skinny she turned sideways and dissapeared.
YO MAMA IS SO BALD Yo momma so bald even a wig wouldn't help! Yo momma so bald you can see whats on her mind Yo momma so bald that she took a shower and got brain-washed.
YO MAMA IS SO TALL Yo momma so tall she tripped over a rock and hit her head on the moon. Yo momma so tall she did a back-flip and kicked Jesus in the mouth. Yo momma so tall she tripped in Michigan and hit her head in Florida.
YO MAMA IS SO FLAT Yo momma so flat she's jealous of the wall!
YO MAMA'S GLASSES Yo momma's glasses are so thick that when she looks on a map she can seen people waving. Yo momma's glasses are so thick she can see into the future.
YO MAMA'S HOUSE Yo momma house so small she has to go outside to eat a large pizza. Yo momma house so small you have to go outside to change your mind. Yo momma house so dirty roaches ride around on dune buggies! Yo momma house so dirty she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside.
YO MAMA'S HAIR Yo momma hair so short when she braided it they looked like stiches. Yo momma hair so short she curls it with rice.
YO MAMA'S HEAD Yo momma head so big she has to step into her shirts. Yo momma head so big it shows up on radar. Yo momma head so small she use a tea-bag as a pillow. Yo momma head so small that she got her ear pierced and died.
