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from: Messy
27 Dec 2006
02:48:50
64.12.117.7
A student at Wheaton North High School has been accused of depositing his bodily fluids into a container of ranch dressing in the school cafeteria. When police investigated they reported that he did in fact supply an extra ingredient to the dressing- his own semen. School officials, parents, and most of all students were disturbed, outraged, and horribly revolted. The dressing was ingested by an unknown number of students during the last lunch period on Wednesday and all five lunch periods on Thursday, before it was discovered. Though rumors swirled around the school that it had been going on for months, school officials have made clear that this is an isolated incident and the police assure that an attempted aggravated battery arrest is imminent. Nevertheless, in order to reassure the public, the super- intendent has made a statement of changed protocols of the access to and type of containers used in the cafeteria.
