HOUSEFLY
9:00 AM-
I crawl to the kitchen. Nothing to eat. Just a jar of peanut butter and some bread. I make
a sandwich. Mmmm, this must be crunchy style. I look at the label on the jar. It says,
"HOUSEFLY". There's pictures of Peter Pan and a big fly. I open the jar in
disbelief and scoop out some and spread it flat on my hand. All those crunchy nuts were
not nuts. They were crunchy houseflies.
10:00 AM-
I call lawyer. He says I can't sue. The label clearly indicates the word
"HOUSEFLY" next to a picture depicting a Housefly Sitting On A Slice Of Bread
Rubbing His Tummy And Smiling. The caption reads: "M-m-m-m-m, crunchy!!!" Can't
argue with that. Lawyer recommends I check each "chunk", possibly a non-crunchy
one can be found, however, litigation will cost millions. Fuck it! I make another sandwich and forget about it.
