While attending functions with dignitaries today, the President shocked the world media by making his head cave in and then popping it back out using his teeth muscles. The feat was performed repeatedly before a throng of stunned journalists.

A small civic group known as theWashington DC Jaycees Junior Goodguy Booster Kiwanis Lodge Elks Club appeared on the White House lawn today, armed to the teeth and madder than hell about when the President's recenty shook his finger at the American people and said: "Now I want you to listen to me... I never had sexual relations with that woman... she may have sucked my dick about 8 or 9 times... but she never inhaled!"

Today, the House commitee on Un-American Activities unanimously voted to butt-fuck the President with an acetyline torch. The White House later issued a mandate and all 435 representatives were marched to a nearby field where the Vice-President closed off their dick and pussy holes with a high wattage soldering iron.

The President was recorded by the FBI,
singing in the White House shower today:
"Hilliary Clinton, Shaved Her Puss, a-singin',
Read My Lips, No More Bush!
Hilliary Clinton, Shaved Her Hole, a-singin',
Read My Lips, No More Dole!"

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