One of the coolest things I've seen at sports events is when the Guys In The Mascot Costumes get in a REAL FIST FIGHT. Its so weird to think that you're seeing a real fight, because to look at them you'd think it was a cartoon. To me, it looks hilarious when the uniformed security has to separate a GIANT CHICKEN from a HUGE COWHEAD.

Game? I'll show you a fucking game.

Score THIS, assholes!

(grabs crotch)

You can take that Super Bowl

and toss it in that OTHER BOWL,

(thumb points over shoulder)

THE SOIL IT WHILE YOU COIL IT BOWL,

(index finger pointing down, spiraling)

and hit the flush handle one time for me.

(thumb points at chest,
with the sound of flushing toilet)

You wanna play some ball?
How 'bout twice?

(index finger pointing at testicles)

Try a little "hang time" with these babies.

(mimics dangling testicles)

You wanna go for some extra points?

(two fingers held up)

Then you'll probably wanna go for this pointer,
right here!

(mimics pointing with penis)

Let me see your ASS,

its about KICKOFF time, isn't it???

(raise foot)

You're supposed to kick the ball,

not the bucket!

(draws finger across throat ear to ear)

hidden announcer:

Dr. Popeye X has just left the building.

(Sig Heil salute)